Falling Hard and Fast

     This was a day when I noticed how easily I yield to fears, and how quickly the reasonable exercise of asking myself what I am afraid of can become inflammation of fear beyond all reason. Impatience is one of my chief shortcomings, and I have been waiting and working for months toward a particular goal. I received notice late last week that goal should be realized sometime early this week. I have spent hours on this task, often dealing with frustrating individuals and institutions. Now, however, there is no work left for me. I have completed my part, completed it weeks ago in fact, and must wait for others to follow through. I do not like admitting it has been a fearful six weeks for me, when I have repeatedly convinced myself the goal would never be achieved and I would be let down by those whose cooperation I require. For the last two days, in an effort to uncover the nature of my fears, I let myself think events through to the worst possible scenario, and then found myself stuck there, unable to talk myself out of such an outrageous outcome. I am embarrassed by how crazy I became in a short period of time! No wonder I usually try to spend some percentage of each day with other people, rather than alone with my thinking!