The Habit of Desire

            So many times a day I think I want some thing (usually, in my case, something to eat) when I probably don’t, in fact, want anything. As a child I watched hours of TV each day, and I remember wanting every shiny thing I saw—Matchbox cars, Barbie’s beach house, McDonald’s Happy Meals, Twinkies. Today I watch almost no TV, incognito subversive that I am, yet the residual longing remains--desiring some thing almost constantly. I do suspect TV impacted that, and even the layout of stores and ads in the newspaper. Despite my efforts to leave it, I belong to a culture infected with longing, with insatiable desire, a culture where the answer is always more. Sadly, my  late night snacks, nibbling throughout the day, and compulsive eating at parties and other public functions attest to the power of that culture in my life. All this yearning I reduce to something material, always to some thing. The alternative is terrifying—a longing I cannot assuage by my own efforts. But perhaps the longing is false, more a tic or habit.